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If I only had a brain

The problem with brains is that they’re soft.  Really soft.  So soft that the crash helmet that is your skull isn’t even enough to protect it from a decent knock to the head.  If nature can’t solve a problem then I don’t expect that I can.

The problem with scientists is that they want their brain specimens in as close to perfect condition as possible to dissect them.

The problem with abattoirs is that they are in an incredibly competitive industry with tight margins and food standards criteria that put a lot of demand on their workers to meet targets that most of us couldn’t cope with.

When those three problems collide this is what you get:

bucket o' lambs brains

The demand for brains at the beginning of this term has been stronger than we’ve ever seen before.  Sadly, the quality of the brains that has been delivered has been the worst we’ve ever seen.  This is a combination of the industry having to catch up and deliver whatever they’ve got in the aftermath of the natural disasters we’ve all experienced this summer and the person whose job it is to get that brain out into that punnet not being too particular about the final product.

Lucky for you I am here to defrost them, sort them and repackage them so this is what you get:

6 pack of lambs brains

Over the past few weeks we have sorted hundreds of punnets of brains with about 50% of them being good enough to package up like this.  At this stage we have no information that supply is going to be affected by the floods and cyclones, however I would be very surprised if it wasn’t.  I really think that there is probably going to have been significant stock losses that haven’t been assessed yet.

Here are a few tips to give yourself the best chance of delivering a really good specimen to your classes:

  1. give us as much notice as you possibly can that you are going to have brains in your order
  2. defrost them slowly in the fridge and be very careful when you handle them
  3. prepare the brains by soaking them in 20% methylated spirits for up to 48hrs before the class to give them a bit firmer texture

If you’ve got a tip about brains that will make a Labbies life easier then please let us know.  It would be great to be able to publish a series of tried and true hints and tips on dissection written by the people who know best.

Miss Vivi

Feb 8, 2011

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Would the real Miss Vivi please stand up?

Look who we found at the SASS conference at Graystanes today

With the funky purple hued hair and the big blue eyes could it be that Miss Vivi has a sister in Sydney? And how good is that t-shirt?

She is, of course, a labbie but she insists that she is much healthier looking than our Vivi – especially around the mouth.  Quite right, too.   Although we agreed we’d both be pleased if we’d been blessed with Vivi’s legs.

Miss Vivi

Nov 25, 2010

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The Squeal from Miss Vivi – November 2010

Well hello!

I hope that Term 4 has been treating you kindly and you’re looking forward to a well deserved break over Christmas.

We just wanted to let you know that Miss Vivi and Mr Vivi are off to meet the the labbies of NSW and Victoria at their tech conferences, so Dissection Connection will be closed from 25 November to 5 December.  We won’t be available to despatch any deliveries, but we will be available by phone or email so don’t be shy about getting in touch.

We’re really looking forward to meeting some interstate labbies and helping them out with their offal problems next year.  If you know someone interstate that is having trouble sourcing worthwhile specimens for dissection then please let them know about us.

Have you considered pre-ordering your specimens for Term 1 next year?  If you pre-order you’ll be at the head of the queue and we’ll be able to guarantee your specimens will be delivered when you want them with absolutely nothing to pay until 30 days after you receive them.

Thank you again for your tremendous support and kindness to us this year.  We had a few teething problems in the very beginning and you were very understanding and patient while we sorted ourselves out.  I hope that we have made your life a bit easier this year.  I’ve been asked to track down some unusual things and it’s been great fun.

Have a wonderful break over the holidays, stay safe and we’ll see you next year.

Miss Vivi

Nov 17, 2010

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Both plucks have been exceptional!

Both plucks have been exceptional!  I commented to the Biology teacher, just this morning:  They are the best kidneys I’ve seen in twenty years of dissections.  The kidneys they gave us at Uni to dissect weren’t as good as today’s.

I would highly recommend the specialised services of Dissection Connection to ANY teaching institution.  I much appreciated their prompt delivery and handling too!!!!

– Geoffrey Hampton, Varsity College